The scenery couldn’t breathe.
B was talking to himself. He was alert of it and wanted it to stop. But it was him who was talking to himself.
B was looking for words for the beautiful scenery that he was enjoying. He sensed that the scenery almost lost its breath. He exhaled slowly, tried to catch with its declining breath, waiting patiently to inhale again.
He finds it hard to settle in when he is living a relatively comfortable and quiet life. He likes to peel off life like there are so many layers of it – and it does – and still finds no peaceful solitude. After all, there is still rage about something, that he is not able to make peace with.
Sometimes, fragile people are good listeners. When listening to the scenery, B didn’t move. He was sitting idle. B recalled that there was a time when someone told him to be brave and should not be afraid of anything. This guy who encouraged B was actually a person who is afraid to know and accept the fact that he is afraid of being afraid.
Gazing is a good way to keep breathing. Contemplating the damned before everything that might happen. Listen to the quiet and sudden gasp in the past and now.
LEE Kit, October 2023