One day, something happened. You felt like being torn apart, physically and emotionally. You tried not to let the pain got to you. The worst thing was that you were left alone, facing the beautiful world that used to mean everything to you. Traumatized, numb, paranoid, shaking, idled, and being awaken in any moment in a day or night by your own voice in your head and in your throat. It’s not a nightmare. It’s a norm, a new one. It took years for you to get used to it. Something was missing.
You could only put your hands in your pockets so you became the only one who knew your hands were shaking. There was nothing in your pocket for you to grasp. You knew it. You grasped your fingers, head down, kept walking. You would try to go somewhere else if you needed to. Strolling around an empty harbor didn’t calm you down. You just didn’t know how did that happen. You were scared, unsettled, and quiet. You heard no sound when your eyes were open. Closed your eyes, all the noises you tried to avoid stuck in your breath. It’s another sunny day that burnt you and left you in chill.
Someone fled from the harbor but not you. Those who fled away were left alone somewhere. They were missed and you missed yourself. Those should be blamed and condemned remained untouched.
Guiltiness, screenshotted.
LEE Kit, November 2020